Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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