Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
