I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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