here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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