question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He did a backflip because drugs
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
