This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize