Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
