His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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