i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
