I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
