Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
