Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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