Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
