thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
