This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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