ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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