I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
