Please, let me fuck your mom
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
