some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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