And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
