i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
