I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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