? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
