I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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