when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
