Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
