Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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