But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
