My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
