Say something about gay babies.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
