So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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