i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize