I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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