please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I could have mohawked her pubes.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
