she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I deserve this hangover.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
