I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
