it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
