maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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