That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
