Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it glows. i had to have it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
