I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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