I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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