For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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