a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's blow job season.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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