I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Bring me that man meat
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
