before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
