Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
