it wasn't lemon gatorade
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
