Me too!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
