I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
