maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
