Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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