i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize
