You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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