marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
