i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
