can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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