I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
All I want is dick and wine.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
