how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
