that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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