is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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