i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
