Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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