I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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